Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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