In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize