Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
