apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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