If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
