how can u be prego again
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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