You're earring is so big in my mouth
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
