rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
