am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
