Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Mom said you looked used
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
