I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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