She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Operation Purity has been aborted
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
