It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
