Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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