I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
