Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize