i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
