a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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