i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's the barista slut.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is my gift to your gina
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
