So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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