Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
