I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
