dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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