I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
