You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
