Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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