How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just cut my nipple shaving
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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