is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
