I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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