Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
