He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
smell my finger.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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