just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
