Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
