New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
