i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
