reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
