Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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