this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
