The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you win again, gameday.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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