Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize