They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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