He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize