I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
