Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
