If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sacagawea was the original milf.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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