i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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