I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
