I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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