I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
