if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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