all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The adults are the big ones right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
