i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
