I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
