sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
