Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is it penis luge time yet?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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