I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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