Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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