i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize